From Novel to Memoir

I've put the novel aside for awhile. I wasn't getting anywhere with it and it was sucking all the joy out of writing. I seemed to just be spinning inside this complicated and unknowable structure and for every change I made to the manuscript there would be a hundred more changes that I needed to make. I know I will return to fiction writing one day. But for now I've decided to mine (excavate) my own experiences and write a memoir. I am going to dig through all the layers of my life and write about what I find.

So far the project is going well. I've written almost 50,000 words and I have some material that I'm really happy with. Carissa from my writer's group suggested that I try to get one of the peices published as a stand alone essay so I've been sending that out. It's the first time that I'm sending out work since I stopped last January. I find trying to get things published really draining.

My main goal in writing the memoir is to reinvigorate my love of writing and so far I have accomplished that goal. Writing about my life feels less difficult then creating an entire fictional world. I am able to write small sections each day and I've been enjoying just letting the words come without too much judgement or need to structure them.

The theme of my memoir is sexual desire - how it is shaped and created through one's life. I am exploring my experience as a bisexual, experimental woman and how my desires pushed me into dangerous and overwhelming situations. I also want to explore how technology has changed the way we experience our sexuality - pornography, internet hook-up culture, and online communities have all impacted the way I experience sex and my own sexuality.

It's a tricky theme as sex and sexuality are often catagorized as either pornographic, silly, or disgusting. But it's what I am most drawn to write about...